.. She says hie back but the depth of the conversation we had with our eyes far outweighed the pleasantries being dispatched from our lips..I know I'm meant to apologise but everytime I try to swallow my pride it gets stuck at my throat and blocks my words,, she doesn't hold back hers.. "Why didn't you call me after we spent the night together? Why didn't you think I was worth it? Why didn't you consider my feelings? Was I not good in bed? Was sex all you were after? And who was that girl in the club? Have you had a girlfriend all along? You saw me when I walked in why didn't you greet me? " At this time I could feel the pain in her voice, choking her as she continued to attempt to speak........ " I cared" the only words I could let out of my mouth.. Before my emotions, emotions I had felt building for over ten years, emotions I had never visited because like an old relative I knew they would keep me for longer than necessary, emotions I never touched because much like Jesus's robe I knew one touch could change me forever, emotions I tried not to look at because even Stevie wonder couldn't avoid them, emotions I hadn't smelled because some scents don't wear off.. I hear that the less you use your senses the more likely you are to highten the others.. So these emotions I tried not to acknowledge were felt at the core of my soul, the lava had been bubbling for years never reaching the surface until... Eruption....... "You think I didn't care? All I did was care! But life already taught me that I should keep a healthy distance between what I feel and what I express because iv expressed myself before, exposed my heart before, and they stepped on it, I tried to stick to loving them but got washed off like an old piece of gum, I wanted to call you, but have you seen yourself? Girls that look as good as you may give a guy like me a chance for the night but would rather give a guy with money the opportunity to have them for a lifetime. I'm not saying you're a hoe, I'm just aware of the type of brothers you dig, I'm also aware of the fact that the modern female's hymnal begins and ends with instant financial security, hardwork and love left the building and were never missed, so you call me a player because I've found a way to survive your game, you think I didn't fall in love with you? You're foolish to believe that,, but you're also foolish to believe that after what women have put me through, I'd prioritise love over self preservation.. "
